When you become a mother, your kids’ lives often take front seat to your own. Everyone always says, “don’t forget to fill your own cup and make time for self-care”. Sometimes that’s easier said than done. I didn’t want to make this post or everything I do about being a mom. But, the reality is that I am a mom, and it is a huge part of my life.
My sister and I had e-credits to use from a cancelled flight during the pandemic. We had to book somewhere to go. I asked her, “why not go to New York”? We wouldn’t have to spend too much money and it’s a direct flight from Bermuda. I thought it’d be fun to take a sister trip, and I could spend some time away from my kids. This would be the longest time I would have spent away from my kids. I thought it would be hard considering my youngest would only have just gone one year old.
In hindsight, it was not hard at all. The hardest part was seeing how much my kids missed me on the video calls. I missed them but not as much as I thought I would. Is that bad? I just needed a break. For a few days I got to live my life like I did before I had kids. I could get up and go as I pleased. I could eat my food right away without having to feed someone else first. I could do things that weren’t centered around kid focused activities. It was amazing.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother, my kids and doing fun activities with them. But I got to be Jadiyah for just a few days. That feeling of freedom to be me had become distant. I realized how much I needed to get away. I need to remember to take care of myself and do the things I love, and that make me happy. Having the opportunity to do so, was the most amazing feeling. This time away also reminded me of what it is I love to do the most. They are eating (of course), laughing, being silly and traveling. Right now, I am chasing happiness. I only want to do the things and be around the people that contribute to my happiness. It is my goal to stay on that path and make the effort to “fill my own cup”. We can be moms and still live our lives for ourselves and not just our beautiful babies. I need to remember that. I am happy to be back with my kids and simultaneously waiting for the next chance to just be me.
Love, peace and good eats,
Jadiyah
April 2024
